Digital Diatribes

A presentation of data on climate and other stuff

How Not to Remove a Wood Tick

Posted by The Diatribe Guy on May 31, 2007

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11 Responses to “How Not to Remove a Wood Tick”

  1. Lars Laxvik said

    There is a better way, check

  2. jolenemartin said

    I know I shouldn’t laugh but that’s got to be the funiest anecdote I’ve read in a long time.

    Hope your son is ok.

  3. […] – Humorous Pictures was just a light-hearted post where I shared a few pictures I thought were funny, and I thought […]

  4. Greg Lins said

    I laughed so hard I cried! OMG, that reminded me of ticks when I was a kid, and the “alcohol burner incident” as it’s become known in our family.

    Yep, at about the age of 10-12 or so, Mom and Dad got “the boys” (Doug and I) a nice chemistry set. It came with a little alcohol burner so we could heat up test tubes full of toxic stuff, which was pretty fun. We had it down in the basement, and of course we weren’t supposed to use it when my parents weren’t around…

    So one day when our parents weren’t around, we discovered that alcohol poured onto the concrete floor of the basement, when ignited, produced more excitement than we could ever find by oxidizing copper. Nice big flames for a few seconds before burning out. Taking turns pouring and lighting the little puddles, we tested bigger and bigger flames. That was one day…

    The next day…

    Doug wasn’t around to tell me to stop, so I worked up to bigger and bigger flames all by myself. I decided I probably should stop, but “one more,” the biggest flame EVER would be all I would need…

    So I dumped enough alcohol on the floor that it made a pool about 30″ across. I figured that would do… I lit it, and as you might imagine, the flames curled up to about 4′ high! Just then, I heard Mom open the door upstairs, yelling “Hi Kids!” or something. Panic ensued!

    What to do? What to do? If Mom caught me I would be grounded, executed, or executed and grounded – for sure. So I looked around for something to put out the fire. Ah! An old rug! So I threw that over the fire, and it soaked through IMMEDIATELY and started burning too!

    I heard Mom upstairs, walking into the kitchen, yelling “Greg? Are you home?” “Yeah Mom! I’ll be right up!”

    The flames died down a little and I decided to stamp it out. Whew! It worked! I quickly grabbed the burned rug, tossed it under the couch, opened all the windows in the basement, and ran up the stairs… “I’m here Mom!”

    Somehow, she never figured it out. I think I went outside or something – memory gets foggy after a situation like that…

    A few months later, Mom and Dad assemble the family. Mom was holding a burned rug in her hands… “Boys? Do you know about this?” D’oh!

    Grounded – for a long time, I think – and the chemistry set was taken away for good measure too.

  5. Diatribical Idiot said

    Greg, happy I could “spark” a childhood memory! Thanks for the story.

  6. theLangolier said

    You have got to be the dumbest person I know of. Congrats!

  7. Diatribical Idiot said

    Even dumber than someone who ends a sentence with a preposition while calling someone else dumb? 😉

    It’s all good. I admitted above to being an idiot. If you can’t laugh at yourself…

  8. Joe said

    That’s a great story, I do dumb stuff like that all the time.
    I often wonder how I’ve managed to live this long.
    Just the other day, I was using the tire pump, it was plugged into the cigarette lighter and the car was running. It was in park, and the cord for the pump was kinda twisted around the shifter stick. The tire filled, so I went to disconnect the pump, and started yanking on the cord. I was listening to the tire pump ,while the car engine was running, and im pullin on this cord that i notice is kinda wrapped around the shifter, and all of a sudden i think ‘woah, that’s maybe not a good idea.’. whew.

  9. Sam said

    Next time try vaseline – it’s supposed to suffocate them and they fall out…head and all.

    I usually just pull them out though…

  10. Don said

    Upstate New York here; living in one of the worst counties of NY for ticks. SO, I hope you can use this info for when you need…

    A better way to get rid of an embedded tick.

    The Tick Twister Pro is by far the easiest, fastest, safest and cleanest way to remove those nasty little critters that have attached themselves to family members, ourselves or our beloved pets.
    It does not twist like the name implies, it spins the ENTIRE tick at once.

    It can also be used on commercial livestock, (Not pets, but animals that are taken care and loved just as if they were.), horses, goats, sheep, pigs, etc…

    The Tick Twister Pro can be found on the web at many places but the lowest (total) price we have found so far was from us at
    Visit the web site and take a look at the tool, it really is quite unique.
    The “Vee” shape “business” end of the tool MAY actually cut off the flow of fluids(not confirmed) out of the tick.

    We truly hope that this info helps anyone that needs a tick removal tool regardless of where you may end up purchasing it/them from.©

    Thanks for reading,
    Diane & Don

  11. […] How Not to Remove a Wood Tick « Digital DiatribesHow Not to Remove a Wood Tick. Posted by The Diatribe Guy on May 31, 2007 … 10 Responses to “How Not to Remove a Wood Tick” … […]

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